It all started quietly one Sunday afternoon in Kiambiu estate, Nairobi, just a few hours after a wedding reception had wrapped up at a nearby field where guests enjoyed pilau, lukewarm soda, and speeches that lasted longer than the entire marriage might last.
Disappearing Laptop Drama
A primary school teacher who had attended the ceremony realised her bag was unusually light as she walked home, only to discover upon arrival that the laptop she had carried to the venue for marking exams was missing, together with a mouse and two packets of chewing gum.
CCTV Tells the Tale
Footage from a nearby carwash showed a man in a suspiciously oversized suit walking briskly away with what appeared to be a blue laptop bag strapped across his chest like a baby, despite the fact that it was clearly not a baby unless babies now come in Dell packaging.
Man Returns Home Victorious
Later that evening, the same man, a 27-year-old boda boda rider known to the neighbourhood as Boniface, returned home grinning ear to ear, shaking hands with neighbours and even offering free rides to two schoolboys in a suspicious burst of generosity that raised no alarm at the time.
Things Start Getting Strange
That night, as the family sat watching a Nigerian film whose main plot was difficult to follow due to buffering and loud chewing noises from an uncle eating leftover githeri, Boniface allegedly excused himself and went to bed early, claiming he was unusually tired from “serving the community.”
Unusual Movements in Bed
According to his younger brother, Boniface began murmuring strange phrases in his sleep around 1:34 a.m., including words like “capital P,” “hashtag,” and “underscore,” followed by violent finger movements that mimicked keyboard typing as if he was doing an exam in his dreams.
Mother Grows Suspicious
His mother, a respected church elder and part-time porridge vendor, initially thought her son was having a spiritual visitation or maybe remembering a school password, but when she heard him whisper “teacherlaptop2023” followed by “log me in,” she immediately woke her husband and whispered the word “witchcraft.”
Entire Family Gathers
By 2:00 a.m., the entire household was awake and standing beside Boniface’s bed like confused prophets, watching in horror as his hands kept tapping the air in perfect rhythm, occasionally reaching behind his head as if adjusting an invisible screen brightness.
The Shocking Confession
Suddenly, Boniface sat up, eyes still closed, and said clearly, “I took it near the pilau tent. It was zipped. I thought nobody saw me. The bag was warm.” Then he smiled like a man who had just declared his candidacy for shame of the year and laid back down snoring like a satisfied burglar.
Panic and Confusion
The family went silent for ten full seconds before the father declared the situation officially above their pay grade and suggested calling a pastor, a police officer, or a very experienced night runner to help interpret the situation before things escalated into laptop exorcism.
Police Called to Scene
By 3:00 a.m., officers from Buruburu Police Station arrived in a Probox that looked like it had just been rescued from retirement, and after hearing the family’s detailed account, they laughed nervously, adjusted their belts, and asked to be shown the laptop, if it was indeed inside the house.
Laptop Found Under Mattress
True to Boniface’s sleepy confession, the missing laptop was found carefully wrapped in a leso and hidden under his mattress alongside a pack of used scratch cards, one boiled egg, and a thank-you card from a wedding he did not attend, leading police to believe the suspect was trying to start a museum.
Boniface Wakes Up
When officers gently shook him awake, Boniface reportedly looked around confused, wiped his face with the collar of his shirt, and asked whether Manchester United had scored, before noticing the uniformed officers and immediately asking to speak to a lawyer, a priest, or anyone with a phone.
Admission and Arrest
After a cup of warm porridge and a firm lecture from his mother about the importance of sleeping with a clear conscience, Boniface admitted to stealing the laptop and claimed he was under pressure from peers to “upgrade his life,” though nobody present could define exactly what that meant.
Neighbours React
By morning, news had spread like wildfire across the estate, with neighbours stopping at the kiosk to confirm whether the story was true, and one elderly woman shouting at a cockroach near her feet, saying she suspected even the insects were now stealing electronics.
Victim Recovers Device
The teacher who owned the laptop was contacted by officers and later identified the machine based on a distinctive crack near the charging port and the smell of boiled maize that apparently lingered on the keyboard from her marking sessions under a mango tree.
Community in Laughter
Residents gathered outside the suspect’s gate later that afternoon and reenacted the sleep-typing motions using exaggerated dance moves, declaring Boniface the official president of Sleep Typers Association, while others jokingly asked him to help them guess WiFi passwords at a local hotel.
No Previous Offences
Police confirmed that Boniface had no criminal record prior to the incident and had previously been described as a generous if not slightly confused young man who once delivered bananas to the wrong estate and refused to ask for them back due to shyness.
Spiritual Theories Emerge
Several locals have since come forward claiming that the incident may not be entirely natural, with one woman insisting that the teacher must have placed a special charm on the bag, while another man said Boniface had probably angered a spirit by stealing during a religious event.
Similar Incidents Reported
Strangely, this was not the only bizarre confession to make headlines in recent months, with another man in Gikambura reportedly singing national anthems in four languages after stealing a tablet, while a woman in Kisii began laughing uncontrollably in a funeral after hiding stolen money in her bra.
Local Spiritual Healers Mentioned
In all these cases, witnesses have pointed to the rising popularity of spiritual justice across Kenya, with many residents opting for unseen protection and metaphysical tracking methods that go beyond alarms and padlocks.
Spotlight on Shaba Mangube
One name that keeps appearing in these tales is that of the famous Shaba Mangube Doctors, widely respected for offering powerful spiritual solutions to those who have experienced theft, betrayal, or recurring misfortunes in their homes or businesses.
Real Testimonies Shared
A butcher in Rongai claimed that after losing five goats mysteriously, he visited the Shaba Mangube Doctors and within three days, the thief returned the goats tied with a shoelace and crying like a baby, insisting he was haunted by goat voices in his dreams.
Solutions Beyond the Police
While the police continue to play a critical role in maintaining law and order, many Kenyans now believe that spiritual justice offers a deeper level of accountability, especially in cases where items vanish mysteriously or culprits go unpunished for too long.
Protect What Matters
Whether you are a student, parent, business owner, or boda boda operator with an interest in avoiding supernatural dance battles or midnight confessions, it might be wise to consider taking preventive measures that involve more than just padlocks and CCTV cameras.
Take Action Now
If you have suffered strange thefts, unexplained losses or suspect someone has taken from you and walked away without consequences, it may be time to consult Shaba Mangube Doctors for spiritual protection and justice.
Call +254795613711 for a confidential consultation today.
